The Sacrificial Lamb Syndrome Part 3
by Mike Fleischmann
The Sacrificial Lamb Syndrome
Following behind a legend of a pastor
There Is A Better Way
If you’ve ever experienced the rejection of a Sacrificial Lamb, in the midst of all the turbulence it can be hard to believe that the church will even hold together. But, in fact, most actually will recover with time and discover a new normal. Unfortunately, getting there is a wrenching experience leaving behind wounded pastors, scattered sheep, and a tarnished witness in the community.
There is a better way. It begins with the acknowledgement that there will be individual and corporate emotions in grieving their great loss. For those deeply invested it a loss that is organizational, spiritual, and relational. Only as the days go by will they begin to grasp the countless ways this loss will change their lives.
That’s why a significant part of the solution simply has to do with time. The process of grieving can only happen so fast. Just like we caution people to not hurry into a new relationship after losing a spouse, so too church leadership needs to resist the pressure to move too quickly to the next chapter. Two years may seem like an eternity on the front end of a pastoral transition, but on the back side of an explosive break-up it seems like a small price to pay to ensure a healthy transition. Take some time. Slow it down. God’s people need to feel what they’re feeling.
Another significant part has to do with process. Organizationally intentional churches will often bring in transitional leaders to focus on systemic issues and strategic priorities. These components are not to be neglected. But rarely is an intentional process offered to emotionally ready the congregation for a new leadership relationship. Without this component, the congregation runs an increased risk either selecting the wrong pastoral successor, or turning a perfectly good one into a Sacrificial Lamb — all because they didn’t fully let go of their last one.
A third part involves informed expectations. From the pulpit, in print, and in small groups the congregation needs to be told what they can expect in the days to come. Especially for those deeply invested there will be change, discomfort, disappointment and a range of emotions related to their loss. Acknowledging this does not show a lack of spirituality but honors the gift God gave them in their previous Pastor.
Churches often overcompensate in the selection of a new Pastor. They find one with all of the strengths lacking in their previous Pastor, only to ultimately resent her for being unlike what they knew and loved. This is the classic sign of a church that has not grieved the loss of their pastor enough to be ready to acknowledge what it was in them and their ministry that made them so valued. They underestimate the loss and overestimate how ready they are for change.
Losing a long-time, effective Pastor will always be a profound, personal loss for those who are deeply invested in their life and ministry. If congregations do not meaningfully and spiritually process this grief emotions will still emerge, just in unpredictable ways. All too often that means a next Pastor who will serve little other purpose than that of a Sacrificial Lamb who takes on himself the frustrations of the many, and carries them away as he goes.
I began by telling you about Pastor Grant. The encouraging news is that his experience as a Sacrificial Lamb wasn’t the end of his story. After a period of healing, he once again returned to fruitful pastoral ministry, proving that he really was all of those wonderful things that First Church believed about him on the day they called him. He was just the right guy at the wrong time, trying to follow in the footsteps of a pastoral legend.
There is a better way, both for the health of the church and the pastor. Shepherding the people of God through profound losses also prepares them to embrace new possibilities. As the Preacher in Ecclesiastes spoke, there is a time to hold on and a time to let go. Wise leadership helps the people to discern the difference.
Mike Fleischmann is a pastor at GracePointe Church in Milwaukie, Oregon. He blogs at TRUTH…on the Fly.
The Sacrificial Lamb Syndrome Part 2
by Mike Fleischmann
The Sacrificial Lamb Syndrome
Following behind a legend of a pastor
Sensing the Emotion in the Loss
In my own journey, the first rays of understanding came a couple of years in to my stint as the Sacrificial Lamb. Over lunch with a grief counselor I asked if he might guide our church staff through a discussion of the losses we had experienced in recent years. He graciously agreed.
In a very simple exercise he stood before us that afternoon at the whiteboard and drew a timeline. He asked the staff to think of significant people that our church had lost; when that had happened and how that had impacted them personally. He put up the first, obvious loss — my predecessor who had left after nearly twenty-five years as Pastor. Quickly, others were added. The long-time Associate Pastor had also departed in the same month. The founding Board Chair had died of cancer a year or two before that and his replacement had since moved to another state. There were staff members and key ministry leaders who were now gone. As the losses accumulated on the timeline, and they shared about what they had lost with each one, I could see tears streaming down their faces.
In that moment it was like a light bulb beginning to flicker about the essence of our transition turmoil. I began to realize that emotion was not a result of our struggles, but unprocessed emotion was driving our struggles. I only wished that I could have given every member of our congregation the opportunity to emotionally process like we had begun that afternoon.
The Church is Going to Grieve — One Way Or Another
What I have learned since is that the response of the congregation to the loss of a beloved Pastor moves quite predictably through the classic grief stages. This grief can be processed in a proactive and constructive way, or it can be left to vent in unpredictable and destructive ways — but it is going to have an emotional impact. This will be especially true among those whom are most invested in the departing Pastor.
If you’ve ever watched a beloved shepherd say goodbye, you probably recognize the way those stages unfold. It begins when they stand up one Sunday to announce that “his time has come to and end” or that “the Lord has given her a new assignment.” To most of the people listening this will come as a complete shock. In fact they will describe the atmosphere that day being “as if someone had died.” Weeping is heard throughout the sanctuary. Though a sermon is preached, hardly anyone remembers it. Announcements are given, but very few hear them. The people will walk out in a daze.
For the next month or two, until the pastor leaves, much of the congregation will live in denial. When the topic comes up, they will say things like “I just can’t think about that right now.” They will help to plan the send-off party and collect for a gift, but they will largely refuse to consider the implications of what this actually means for them.
It’s not uncommon for there to be some bargaining. Departing Pastors may be approached by parishioners who want to believe this can still be reversed. Perhaps there was a long-delayed office remodel they are prepared to fund if the Pastor remains. Perhaps the Pastor could delay retirement for a few more years if a new Associate is added.
Once the moving truck pulls away, in many ways grief is temporarily suspended. It’s not unlike a family who has just lost their father, but are so busy with all the funeral details that they don’t have time to let it sink in. There are documents to sign, a service to plan, luncheons to arrange, and family members to pick up from the airport. Though they realize that they have lost something, they are too busy to feel it yet.
For a church the transition period can often feel like that. The key leaders are so busy keeping the organization afloat that there’s little time to personally process. “Who’s going to preach next week, and then the week after that? Who will lead the board and who’s in charge of the staff? How do we make sure that people don’t drift off and giving doesn’t plunge down? Should we stay on course with the strategic plan or wait until the new leader is in place?” The most committed of the church, although they have lost the most, are also the ones who have to soldier on to ensure the church makes it through to the other side.
Church leaders often speak of the immense relief they felt on the day that the new Pastor arrived. The Search Team throws a party. The Board Chairman takes a long-delayed vacation. The ministry workers all feel the emotional release that the uncertainty is finally over and a new leader is in place.
However, in this typical grief pattern, you’ll notice at least one critical stage that has not yet been processed — anger. Not unlike a grieving family that experiences new waves of emotion on the Monday after everyone has returned home, so too a grieving congregation now begins to experience suspended emotion. Feelings and passions, once put on hold for more pressing concerns, now begin to surface.
Unfortunately, most congregations aren’t given the opportunity to clearly identify their feelings of loss and are thus prone to displace that anger on a convenient scapegoat. And what better candidate — than the highly visible new Pastor who is most obviously anything but the legend he replaced?
The Sacrificial Lamb typically is rejected not because the congregation is unwilling to embrace him but because they haven’t finished letting go of their last Pastor. Without processing their grief — their grief ends up processing them.
Mike Fleischmann is a pastor at GracePointe Church in Milwaukie, Oregon. He blogs at TRUTH…on the Fly.
Visit Western Seminary’s Marketplace
From beanies and polo shirts, to backpacks and iPad cases, show your Western spirit! Select a product, then have fun customizing it; choose from a variety of graphics to specify your campus location, announce you’re an alumnus, or sport a collegiate block letter version of our logo for a more vintage feel. A portion of each purchase will be paid back to the seminary. As time goes on, we may add or remove designs to better serve our branding purposes.
Visit Western Seminary Marketplace.
The Sacrificial Lamb Syndrome Part 1
by Mike Fleischmann
The Sacrificial Lamb Syndrome
Following behind a legend of a pastor
There was great optimism when Grant was called as the Pastor of historic First Church and for many good reasons. He had been carefully chosen, vetted, and affirmed by the congregation for his outstanding qualifications. He was well educated, with great personal warmth, and fit well with the culture and convictions of the church. He was an excellent public communicator and a capable organizational leader. He was old enough to have a wealth of experience and yet young enough to convey a sense of enthusiasm. There was every reason to believe that he would successfully build upon the legacy of his predecessor, Dr. R.S. White…who had led the church with a steady hand for three decades.
Now, if you’ve been in ministry leadership for any length of time, you may already have a sneaking suspicion where this story is headed. And your suspicion is right.
Twenty-one months later, Grant unceremoniously resigned, stating that not only was he done at First Church, but he was finished with pastoral ministry altogether. Physically exhausted, emotionally spent, and spiritually depleted both he and his family had gone as far as they could go.
For those of us who watched the story unfold from a distance we could understand the challenge of leadership transition but found it hard to grasp the intensity of emotion that accompanied it. Certainly Grant had made some missteps, however to many in the congregation it seemed as if he had become the solitary cause of everything wrong in the church. Some complained it was his preaching. Some said it was his leadership. Some identified it as defects of character. But the verdict swelled to a crescendo that if he could just be excised then all would be well once again at First Church. As one power broker put it bluntly, “Pastor Grant is a cancer, and it’s time to cut the cancer out.”
So Why Does This Happen?
Most anyone who knows pastoral ministry is familiar with this kind of transition. Diagnostically, we refer to unfortunate pastors like Grant as “Unintentional Interims,” but in casual conversation we just call them “Sacrificial Lambs.” Like the substitute sacrifices of the Old Testament, iniquities are transferred onto the one lamb who then bears the wrath on behalf of the many. It’s always a messy scene for anyone who watches it, and it’s always profoundly painful, especially for the Sacrificial Lamb.
You deserve to know that my observations about Sacrificial Lambs are not purely academic. I had heard of it for years, but in my own ministry I have observed it up close, twice. Once I was the Pastor who followed after the Sacrificial Lamb and once I was the Sacrificial Lamb.
When I was the Sacrificial Lamb, I followed along behind a Pastor who had led the church for nearly its entire twenty-five year history. He may have been a local legend, but I believed that I understood the situation and could overcome any obstacle. I was woefully wrong. I did my best and held on for a few years, but by the time I left I felt like I had been put through a shredder. I was baffled by what had happened. I could see honest disagreements, but I had no real explanation for the raw and unbridled passion that had come with those disagreements.
Of course, in the midst of my pain I wanted to know why this had happened to me. But on a deeper level, I wanted to understand why this happens at all. I had heard church consultants explain that this often did happen, but never had I heard anyone explain why this happens. I couldn’t help but wonder if this lack of understanding was part of the reason why it keeps occurring.
What It Looks Like When It’s Happening
It follows a very predictable pattern. The Sacrificial Lamb always follows the departure of a Pastor who has had a long and successful ministry, leading the church through much growth and change. Often this pastor is also the church founder. Usually they have been sent off as a hero, but occasionally the end comes through unfortunate circumstances. The most important risk factors, however, are always the years of ministry and the growth of the church. The greater the length of time and the greater the church growth during that time — the greater the likelihood of a successor suffering as a sacrificial lamb.
The successor is almost always well qualified. After all, he or she is coming into a strongly established ministry with a history of good pastoral leadership. Churches like this usually pick from the cream of the crop.
We must point out, of course that just because all of the factors are present doesn’t mean that the successor will necessarily be a Sacrificial Lamb. There are notable exceptions, when a high-risk transition comes off wonderfully for all involved. After all, if no one ever beat the odds, then no one would bother to try. It just happens with enough consistency that most all of us recognize the pattern.
Every story is different and churches tend to obsess over the unique details of their particular story. The members, and even the lay leaders, usually have little awareness of the broader pattern. All they tend to see is their own unique drama.
In that drama there will always be some criticism that coalesces within the core of the congregation — something in the pastor’s style, philosophy, or even general fitness for ministry that takes on a life-or-death urgency. I am familiar with one Sacrificial Lamb who was a world-class preacher but came under increasing criticism because he did not speak often enough of the “blood of Christ.” Out of this began to brew a suspicion about the soundness of his theology. Another Sacrificial Lamb had a more hands on management style with her staff which began to be characterized as “toxic leadership.” Another was “reckless with changes” and yet another “dictatorial with church finances.”
In all these examples there was some kernel of truth in the criticism, but to any impartial observer the intensity of the criticism simply did not match the reality of what the new pastor was attempting. Often newer church attenders are befuddled by the emotional opposition coming from long-term members. They are in the same church, under the ministry of the same Pastor, and yet rarely share the same feelings.
It turns out that there is a perfectly good reason why it is the long-tenured members that are so emotional in their opposition, and it’s not just because they have become rigid and unwilling to change.
Mike Fleischmann is a pastor at GracePointe Church in Milwaukie, Oregon. He blogs at TRUTH…on the Fly.
Alumni Audit Opportunity
Graduates of a Western Seminary degree program are invited to audit one class per academic year at no charge to the student. Degree graduates are those who have completed a full master’s or doctoral degree program.
This audit opportunity is available for select 500-level courses, indicated with the “@” symbol on a Spring 2013 Class Schedule (all coaching, doctoral, and distance courses are excluded).
To apply, an alumnus/a must complete the Alumni Audit Opportunity form and the Non-Credit Application & Registration form.
Western Seminary Marketplace is Open!
From beanies and polo shirts, to backpacks and iPad cases, show your Western spirit! Select a product, then have fun customizing it; choose from a variety of graphics to specify your campus location, announce you’re an alumnus, or sport a collegiate block letter version of our logo for a more vintage feel. A portion of each purchase will be paid back to the seminary. As time goes on, we may add or remove designs to better serve our branding purposes.
Visit Western Seminary Marketplace.
Vacation…Undone (part 1)
By Andrew Weeda
You can read all of Andrew’s posts on the Sabbath at “Branchtown.“
The longstanding principle that we may know what we want, but God knows what we need was proved true for the Weeda family once again two weeks ago as our expectations for a restful and relaxing vacation fell humbly prey to God’s plan for…well, stopping and resting.
Vacation is a loaded word. For starters, vacation is lightly loaded with hopes and dreams. The reality of vacation several months out gets us imagining the possibilities. Disneyland? Hawaii? An Alaskan cruise…or a Mediterranean cruise? “Oh Hun, do you think we can?” Vacation floats around our minds with ideals that may or may not come to be.
Later, however, vacation takes on more weight. It becomes more heavily loaded with plans. Saving money, checking websites, reading reviews, comparing rates, making phone calls, choosing dates and times, mapping routes. The ideals from months prior tend to fade into realities. Vacation comes down to earth a bit. Now you can grasp it and soon decisions are made, reservations are nailed down and enthusiasm begins to mount.
At last vacation bears the bulk laden load of preparing. Retrieve the luggage, do the laundry, empty the fridge of dairy products, recruit a neighbor for watering the garden, do more laundry, arrange to amuse the kids while driving, one final load of laundry, stack the van to the brim, grab coats just in case, potty breaks all around, turn off the lights in the kids’ bedrooms, close the garage door and hit the road. Finally, real and actual vacation; launch rest and relaxation, the proverbial “R&R.”
Well all that was our plan up until a few weeks ago. See, on the back side of all that loads down the idea of vacation is yet a greater parcel: the expectation that is assumed with taking one. Try turning to someone today and tell them you are taking a vacation, and wait for the question to come back… Generally an excited: “Where are you going?” An obvious question to be sure, after all the root of the word assumes some level of vacating: “We’re leaving. Checking out for a week by the lake or in the mountains or at the resort.” The Weeda Family’s expectation was to skip town for the Central Oregon Coast. Nice hotel with free breakfast, the aquarium, sunny days and sandy beaches. Top it off by visiting good friends and reminiscing around Portland a bit. Now that’s a vacation, planned and prepped. Certainly it could be more. But that’s all we really wanted and it fit nicely within the budget we had. However, though that is what we wanted, God knew what we needed.
Long story, short…we stayed home. While we had been whittling away the hours planning to vacate, wanting and expecting some well deserved “R&R,” God was holding his ground against all our wants and expectations with what He knew we needed. Where we pursued an escape; a space to turn to and run toward, God offered us time to stop and rest. Where we asked for the load of vacation, God gave us the lightened burden of Sabbath.
Sabbath comes from a clumsy sounding Hebrew word: Shabbat. The emphasis is hard on the last syllable. It’s tone is abrupt and halting. Shabbat. It sounds like a bump in the road; a pot hole with a sign next to it that says “SLOW” or “Motorcycles Use Caution.” I guess that makes it onomatopoeic – you know, a word that sounds like what it describes or is – because Sabbath is like that: A dip in life’s road with a sign next to it suggesting we slow way down or we will be wrecked.
Biblically, we are first introduced to Sabbath in Genesis 2…as a verb, not as a noun; as an action, or better as a posture, not as a place or thing, proper or otherwise. And it is right on the heels of creation’s story. Genesis 2:2-3 tells us “on the seventh day God finished his work that he had done, and he rested on the seventh day from all his work that he had done. So God blessed the seventh day and made it holy because on it God rested from all his work that he had done in creation.”
Now, certainly the first Sabbath did not take place because God was tired. He did not enter a time and space of Sabbath exhausted from the brightened blasts and careful craftsmanship of creating everything ex-nihilo, and so decided to escape for a breather on the bench. And frankly, neither should we. Later we’ll see a passage from Exodus 31 that indicates “[The LORD] rested and was refreshed.” The picture is not like that of an offensive lineman on the bench huffing and puffing and drinking Gatorade in front of those giant cold wind tunnel things as the ball is reversed on the field. Nor is the picture like that of an overworked executive escaping to a private tropical island to hide from his Smartphone for a week. The picture of the LORD being refreshed is that of reflection and glory and joy.
We stop on birthdays and anniversaries to look back at the previous year, to breathe deep the goodness of the year; the rich blessings, the movements of grace, the victories over trials, and we celebrate and cultivate joy for what is to come. Similarly, this first Sabbath was that of the LORD reflecting on the mighty work of His hands and all He had created, breathing deep the intrinsic goodness of it all, and taking glory and joy in what it would become. (Not one chapter later per se, but more likely, keeping all history in view, what it would become at the end of the story.) We do well to enter a time and space of Sabbath in like manner; reflecting on the days behind and finding joy unto the days ahead, rather than gasping for breath, having been run ragged by the week’s demands. If the latter sounds like what you have known, you need to catch on to the rhythm being set forth here at the outset of Scripture.
To be sure, the reader is left with the solemn and repeated reminder that God did not work. He rested, Shabbat. Literally, God “ceased and desisted” from the activity of creating unto the activity of stopping; resting. As well though, here at the outset of Scripture a rhythm of rest is inaugurated by God. Sabbath was not man-made. Soccer tournaments and newspapers pregnant with sale ads and four-hour Super Bowl pregame shows…these were all man-made, and frankly only work to upset a rhythm Divinely inspired. This is not to suggest that Sunday become your Sabbath or mine. The rhythm is not marked by named days. It is simply notable that it keeps a meter of 7’s: One out of every seven is set aside, blessed and made holy. One out of every seven days. One out of every seven months. One out of every seven years. Maybe? Certainly though, from the very beginning it is clear, God knew precisely what humankind would need to disrupt the six-day-a-week busy-ness that is slow and barely noticeable at first, yet often enough at last consumes life. He knew we would need to cease and desist; to stop and rest and reflect and find joy in a time and space especially set aside, blessed and made holy by God himself.
And all this He knew the Weeda family needed even more than a vacation in the strict sense of the word. God knew we needed to stop and rest; to establish a rhythm in our days that generates reflection and cultivates joy. But He also knew what would ground this rhythm. He knew what we would reflect upon and what would spring forth in great joy. He knew we needed to remember our relational proximity to Him, as well as remember all He has done for us in Christ Jesus.
Andrew Weeda is a Western Seminary graduate who blogs at “Branchtown.“
Who says nothing is “free?”
If you are a graduate of Western Seminary you can receive one free class every year. It is called the alumni audit. All you need to do is chose a class, (e.g., Dr. J. Carl Laney’s “Revelation” class this Fall semester in Sacramento), use this form, and turn it into student services at one of our campuses. It’s that easy…and yes, it is free!
